


i'm supposed to love you

by hazukinagisa



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Fingering, Fluff, Frottage, Incest, M/M, Mute Dirk, i didn't intend on the smut oh god, yep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-02
Updated: 2013-12-02
Packaged: 2018-01-03 06:05:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1066968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazukinagisa/pseuds/hazukinagisa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You'd be lying if you said you didn't constantly have your phone at your side, just awaiting his every reply when you're both texting. Sometimes he'll have to tell you to go to bed if he has a free night to himself and you both have the chance to talk, because you won't go to bed until he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm supposed to love you

**Author's Note:**

> it's underage bc dirk is like sixteen 
> 
>  
> 
> ~~if this is bad i apologise deeply~~

He told you a week in advance that he would be home. In all honesty, you were enthusiastic about it - though, you didn't want to get too excited. You hate getting your hopes up, and that's one thing you always try not to do. The day he was supposed to arrive, you made sure to wake up at a decent hour, giving you enough time to make the apartment look presentable. Not that you do anything drastic that messes it up. But a little tidying is still good. 

You're not sure what to do. For some reason, you want everything to be perfect for when your brother gets home, and that makes absolutely no sense at all considering you've never given any shits before. Maybe it's the fact that this is the longest you've went without seeing him. Sure, you can go visit while he's in Hollywood or something, but you never make the effort. You have plenty of breaks from school where you can take the chance to do so. 

Then, if you think about it, you would really hate bugging him. If you did go and visit him, you're pretty sure he'd be far too busy to pay attention to you. That sounds really pathetic. In a way, it makes you feel overly attached and selfish. And that might be true. You'd be lying if you said you didn't constantly have your phone at your side, just awaiting his every reply when you're both texting. Sometimes he'll have to tell you to go to bed if he has a free night to himself and you both have the chance to talk, because you won't go to bed until he does. That really _does_ sound pathetic. 

Around noon, you receive a text from your brother, letting you know that he arrived at the airport, and that he was on his way home. He thought the entire idea of you waiting for him right at the airport was stupid, considering he could just take a taxi and that it wouldn't be that much of a hassle. You're pretty sure you would look like a complete idiot as soon as you saw him, anyways. You're not that offended, to be honest. Another thing is that he doesn't trust you driving yet. You haven't really had your license for that long and you're not about to argue with him over your driving skills. 

Anyways. While you're getting dressed, you hear the sound of a doorknob jiggle and you know he's here. Again, you try not to be overly excited. You decide that, right now, you don't have to dress that fancy or anything. Just a simple t-shirt and pants. He normally gets on you for what you wear, but that's mainly if he's dragging you along to a party with him, and he expects you to look equally as nice as him. Today is just not that day, so it's ok. 

You hear your name called and you shuffle out of your room, being met with the wide grin that's spread across your brother's face. "Hey, kiddo." He sets his belongings off to the side and steps close to you, throwing an arm around your shoulders and he pulls you into a tight hug. He lightly rubs your back into the hug and you always _love_ that so much. 

He chuckles when you cling onto him longer than he's hugged you and he just stands there as you hold him, running his fingers through your hair gently, and you can't help but love that as well. When he pulls back you try not to show that much of a complaint and just let it happen, and you watch as he takes his bags to his room, putting them there before coming back to you. He shrugs off his coat and tosses it somewhere carelessly and you don't even have it in you to do something about that. 

Taking the time to look him over, you allow your eyes to scan him up and down, bringing in his appearance. He looks exactly the same as the last time you saw him. Right now, he's not really particularly dressed up, but he's not dressed lazily, either. He has on a buttoned-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, which you admire, and some pants. You're not even going to deny the fact that you find him attractive. You used to find that odd about yourself, but at this point, you don't care.

"So, are you up for going out or do you want to stay in for a bit?" He asks as he takes a seat on the couch, looking over at you. You give a shrug as you move over to the couch as well, plopping down next to him. "It's still early, you know. You have time to decide." He puts an arm around your shoulder, bringing you into him, and you nod. The both of you relax and he turns on the television, finding something and you lean your head onto his shoulder, taking a deep breath. "You gonna cling to me the entire time I'm here?" Another shrug. "Yeah, thought so." 

You pretty much bask in this for as much as you can. Or rather, until he decides to get up and wanders off to the kitchen. That didn't last long because he came right back out within a minute. "Wow, you did not tell me we didn't have any food." He laughs a bit, crossing his arms. "Have you even eaten today?" You roll your eyes a little. Pretty much, you get this question several times throughout the day, because although he isn't here most of the time, he still checks up on you like a worried mother. Bringing your hands up, you sign to him. 

_Of course I have._

"Good, I'm just making sure. Get some shoes on, we're going shopping." You nod, standing up and you go to your room to grab a pair of shoes, slipping them on, and you're ready. He nudges you along outside and to his car, and you roll your eyes yet another time when he opens your door for you. The ride to the store is nice and you practically stare at him the whole time he drives, nodding your head occasionally, listening to everything he has to say. Like, how long he's going to be here, and all the cool stuff he'll be doing when he goes back. He'll be staying for nearly a month. You're sort of surprised in a way, considering the fact that you were expecting him here for a week at most. 

Somehow, once you get there and your brother has a shopping cart, you manage to crawl inside of it. He kinda stares at you for a second, then shakes his head, and you hold up a hand to silence him before he has a chance to make a complaint. You are very well going to enjoy sitting in here and getting pushed around, and if an employee sees you and demands you get out of the cart, well, you _might_ get out. Might. Riding in here makes you feel like such a princess. 

Within ten minutes there's a load of items just piling on top of you and you want it to stop. It's amusing in a way, but you'd rather kinda, you know, kick back in the cart and be lazy. Without stuff stacked on you. Luckily, it wasn't that long until the both of you were heading to check out. Although, before you did head there, he told you to get up. Which was a challenge, to be honest. You had to carefully stand yourself up while he held onto the cart to make sure it wouldn't shake or flip over, because you're pretty sure that would happen and result to your dramatic death or something. Once you climbed out you lifted your arms above your head, stretching your body. 

The only thing you really hate about grocery shopping is getting home and having to put everything away. Carrying the bags inside wasn't that bad this time, though. Not with him helping you. You made sure to grab as many bags as you could hold, that way you wouldn't have to make several trips there and back. You only had to make two, so that was good. 

You flop onto the couch and sprawl across it after the groceries are put up and he comes up to you, chuckling. "Wanna take a nap?" You turn over to where you're on your back, looking up at him. You nod. "Don't you think you should go to your room then?" You purse your lips. You really don't feel like getting up. 

_Carry me._

Another laugh and you hold your arms out for him, allowing him to pick you up, and he carries you down the hall. "You know, you've really grown a lot." You grin, hiding your face into his neck. "If I have to do this again, I'll probably break my back." Huffing a small sigh, you lightly hit at his back. "That should not offend you." Then you were dropped onto your bed and you used your arms for support to hold yourself up and you looked at him, once again pursing your lips. 

He reaches out, ruffling your hair, and you frown a little as he turns to leave, grabbing onto his hand quickly and squeezing. That thing was quickly happening again where you started feeling pathetic, and _yeah-_ but he turned back to face you, nonetheless a smile on his face. 

_Stay with me?_

You were actually pretty damn ecstatic when he crawled into bed with you. He pulls back the blankets and you crawl underneath them with a small smile, and as soon as he's comfortably under them as well, you're clinging to him. He has an arm around you and his hand is rubbing at your side gently, and you feel like you're just melting against him. You're not sure what's happening next because you just press your face to his neck, nuzzling against his skin with a light inhale. He doesn't do anything. He's still as relaxed as before, so you continue on. You brush your lips over the skin, barely hovering, and you move up until you're at his jaw. Still nothing. If anything, he turns his head slightly and you take that as a chance to move your lips closer to his own. 

He whispers your name quietly and slides his hand down to your hip and you don't know if that means you should stop, but you don't want to. Shutting your eyes, you go for it, and you fully press your lips onto his. 

As soon as you feel him freeze, you stop. This is bad. This is so bad, and you shouldn't be doing this. You should feel ashamed of yourself. You're not sure when this suddenly became a good idea. About to pull away, you're suddenly tugged more forward and he starts to kiss back, his arm fully slid tight around your waist. That's like an invitation for you to kiss him more desperately, and you grab onto the front of his shirt, pressing yourself as against him as you can until you have to shove the blanket that's curled around the both of you off to the side because it's in your way. You let out this soft pant into the kiss as your tongues move together, lightly gripping onto his shoulders. 

And then, along the way, you find yourself with his thigh between your legs and you're grinding on it as you continue holding onto his shoulders to keep yourself steady, moving against it like you're riding it and you actually hear a groan come out of him as he holds your hips, rubbing them up and down. You're scared that, maybe somewhere into this, he might stop all together. Realise how wrong this is and push you away. He does push you, though it's onto your back, and he hovers himself over you. 

He looks down at you with this expression on his face that you can't quite make out, but quickly your attention goes down to his hands as he starts getting his belt off, sliding it off and dropping it on the floor loudly. You watch at he gets out of his pants and they're tossed to the floor as well. Everything is moving so fast and you're not really sure if you want it to stop. You want _him,_ you want him so badly and you hate it. 

Leaning down, he kisses you again while one of his hands travels down to cup you through your pants, and he lightly massages the tent in them, getting a small noise out of you that sounds close to a whine. You're lifting up your hips, trying to rub up against his hand as much as you can, getting more and more eager within the second. You pull him down for another kiss, nipping his bottom lip slightly as you do so. Both of his hands slide over to your thighs, and he's stroking all over them, underneath them and all around, to the inside and his fingers keep moving closer and closer back to your crotch teasingly. 

Almost all together he pulls back and he's moving off the bed, making his way towards the door and your stomach just about drops with panic as he leaves. You did something. You know you did. You're not sure what it is, but it had to have been something. Reaching out, you grab onto the blanket at the end of your bed and you start to pull it back onto you. When he walks back into the room, you pause in your actions and your eyes immediately flicker to the tube he has in one hand, and _oh-_

Kneeling onto the bed again, he grabs you by the hips and pulls you down until you're against him. The tube is set aside and he spreads your legs, moving in between them and he leans down, kissing all over your neck, along your jaw, until he kisses up to your lips. You hook your arms around his neck and bring your chests closer, returning the kiss in a much more relaxed manner than before. Your legs get wrapped around his hips and you can't help but let out a moan as he starts grinding against you, slow and hard. 

You grin a little as you successfully get him onto his back, having to practically wrestle him to switch your positions, and you straddle his thighs, getting all the buttons on his shirt undone. You swat his hands away every single time he tries to help you, and you pull him forward to get him to sit up a bit, making it easier to push the shirt off. 

You feel his hand slide into the back of your boxers and you nearly jump as a finger prods against your entrance. It massages against your hole teasingly and you whine a little, pressing the side of your face against his shoulder. The finger is gone and then it's quickly back again, slicked up and cold, and he slowly makes his way passed the tight ring of muscle. You imagine, with this position, it'd make things hard, but apparently not. Although you still try to keep things easy, with your upper half down and keeping your ass up for him as he works. 

By the time he has the first finger thrusting in and out, you're panting and just slightly moving your hips, wanting more. You try to let him know the best you can, kissing all over his face desperately, still making quiet breathy sounds. You're sure he gets it, because a second digit is added and then it starts moving alongside the first, spreading and scissoring inside of you, stretching. This could be going by a whole lot faster, but he's taking his sweet time. He's being far too careful. You want to complain about that, yet a part of you can appreciate it. It shows how much he cares, and maybe that's all you really want. 

The fingers get pulled away once he's done and you get flipped onto your back again, and his boxers are removed and thrown carelessly onto the floor in the pile with your other clothes. Fucking _finally._ You reach over and help him with a condom and then pump some lube onto his erection, grinning at the quiet sound he makes and you once again slide your legs around his hips, trying your best to drag him more forward as he starts to line himself up. He actually fucking _pauses_ in the middle of this and lets you know what to do or what sign to make if you want him to stop. You really don't think any of that is necessary. 

To make him stop his rambling, you reach up and pull him down for a harsh kiss, rocking your hips a little and you let out this soft gasp as you feel him pushing into your entrance. He moves into you carefully at first, giving you time to get used to the feeling of being filled, and when you're ready, you let him know by a small grinding motion of your hips and he pulls out slowly, thrusting back in. It does burn, but it's a good kind of burn. He repeats the previous action again and again, getting a bit more rough with every thrust, and you can't help making a sound with each movement. 

Your arms wrap around his back when he almost slides out all the way, trying to bring him closer again, then your fingers dig into his skin when he slams back in. You give a small cry as the pace gets picked up quickly, burying your face into his neck as you're pulled into his lap, allowing him to guide your hips with his thrusts. Not even having the energy to move with him, you hold onto him tight, panting against his skin as you get ground into his lap. 

His hands tightly grip onto your sides and you can feel his nails dragging across your skin. You're sure there'll be marks later, but you can't find it in you to care. If you're being honest with yourself, you like it. It's something you can look back on. But right now you're so, so close. You can feel your release building up with your breathing getting quicker. Your hands smooth over his chest as he holds you close, as you give a final few grinds onto his lap that pulls a grunt out of him. 

You feel yourself go weak against him as you arch towards him, muscles tightening all at once as your eyes are squeezed shut. You bite at his shoulder with a gasp, arms still looped around him tight as you hold on, a coarse whimper coming out from your throat as he keeps up with his thrusts, moving in and out of you until his own release follows soon after. He gives a couple more slow rocks as you're practically shaking, trying to catch your breath, even as you're carefully lifted off him and laid onto your back. 

The bed sinks as he gets up and ties the condom off, tossing it into the trash and you watch him as he stands there. You're wondering if this is the part where it all sinks in, and he realises what it is that the both of you just done. You hope it isn't, because you've wanted this for so long, even though you know that you shouldn't. Shifting slightly, you sit yourself up a little, using your elbows for support as you continue to look at him, chewing on your lower lip nervously. All you want is for him to get back in bed and hold you, but you don't think that's going to happen unless you do something. 

You crawl to the edge of the bed and reach out, grabbing onto his hands, and you lace your fingers together. You bring one of his hands up and place a gentle kiss to his knuckles, grinning a little as you see him look at you. Then you tug him closer to you and lean up to peck him on his lips, in return getting a kiss back from him. It takes a whole lot more tugging than a moment ago, but you finally get him into bed again, and you waste no time in clinging to him, wrapping your arms and legs around him once he lays down. 

The only thing going through your mind is how much you want him to _not_ regret this. You have this feeling deep in the pit of your stomach that you should be worried that within the next morning, you'll wake up alone, with him gone off on a plane again. You might be exaggerating, and you don't want to think about it, but you can't help it. 

His fingers gently stroke up and down your back as he has his arms around you, and you want to tell him how much you love him, though you're not sure if that's crossing some kind of line at the moment, so you decide to keep your feelings to yourself right now. You shut your eyes and relax against him, listening to his breathing evening out peacefully.


End file.
